Category: Testimony

So there I was, so in love with Jesus, reading the Bible every chance I got. At some point, it was so bad(or good, you decide) I got unusually annoyed with colleagues who interrupted me to get some work done. The thing is, I have never understood the Bible like that. I asked God to let me forget everything I thought I knew from church and teach me everything first hand. I wanted to know Jesus, not someone’s opinions or perceptions of Him. And so God showed me everything from a radically new perspective as opposed to my Dutch Reformed upbringing.

I saw that Jesus gave up everything He had to become a servant, even to death, so that we might live:

‘ “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.” ‘Matthew 13:44

I saw that Jesus did not come to bring peace:

‘ “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. ‘Matthew 10:34

Jesus has called us to live a set-apart life.

I saw that Jesus gave us a lengthy set of orders that we need to carry out. In short:

‘ He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” ‘Mark 16:15-18

And I saw that it is not enough only to believe these words. James writes:

‘What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.’ James 2:14-17

I saw many other things that do not fit the common perception of the “Lovey Dovey Jesus” the world depicts Jesus to be, but rather than delving further into this, I’d like to encourage you to read the Bible for yourself. I pray that my testimony and the radical impact this has had on my life are evident enough to inspire you to search for yourself.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll try to highlight some of the small things the Holy Spirit convicted me of that had the most significant impact on my life.

Seek first His kingdom and His Righteousness.

Until next time
Tian

On 27 September 2018, on my way to a men’s camp, God spoke to me, not in an audible voice, but an undeniable knowing that I need to repent, repent of all the things I thought: “It’s ok, I’ll just ask for forgiveness tomorrow.” It suddenly became unmistakably clear that I would someday (if not today) have to face God and give an account of my life. This genuinely overwhelming yet highly motivating thought pressed hard on me for the remainder of the weekend, during which I sat through a couple of teachings, getting so annoyed with the preacher because their doctrine didn’t agree with mine.

You see, I used to go to church, and I was sure I had a relationship with Jesus; I mean, I prayed every once in a while, and once when I asked my pastor about my sin in a moment of weakness, he answered: “You invited Jesus into your heart some time ago. Why are you worried? Just ask for forgiveness.”

Fuming with frustration as the preacher continued with his teaching, I wondered how I could dispute him. Still, I could not think of anything I could back up with scripture since the only scripture I knew was Romans 8:1

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

The urge to say something wore me down to extreme helplessness. I wanted never to feel this helpless again and vowed to read the Bible, so I would have some knowledge to back me up in the future.

Finally, the weekend came to an end, or at least I thought it was a good thing until God spoke again, elaborating on what He said previously. Not only did I need to repent, but I had to tell my wife about my pornographic habits as well. Dreadful of the potential consequences, I made my way home, thinking that this was the end of my marriage, but I knew what I had to do. So after getting home and settling the kids, I bit the bullet, and to my surprise, my wife said that she already knew. Not because of any evidence or a sneaky suspicion, but God had prepared her for this day with dreams. God had called her to fast, and as I confessed everything, it became clear that this is what God had called her to fast for. We agreed to abstain from any intimacy for a month as I worked through repentance.

Lying awake that night in complete and utter awe at how faithful God had proved himself to be, I remembered that feeling of helplessness and my vow to start reading the Bible. Where to start? Suddenly a faint memory of a friend saying, “If you ever start reading the Bible, start at 1 John,” popped into my mind. I knew the common perception is to start with John 1 (the gospel), but this intrigued me, which was unquestionably God-ordained. As I started reading, it became apparent that my fundamental belief was utterly flawed, ripping through my doctrine one verse at a time.

'If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. ' 1 John 1:6

'Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. ' 1 John 2:15 

And the final blow:

'No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him. ' 1 John 3:6

I knew then that I had never known Jesus and that He had used the buildup of the last three days to introduce Himself to me. Blown away by His goodness, I repented of all my sin. I have fallen head over heels in love with Jesus, and I simply couldn’t get enough of Him, reading the Bible every chance I got, spending hours on my knees getting to know Him.

Thank you, Jesus, for revealing yourself to me and leading me to repentance. I love you and want to serve you every day of my life.

'Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? ' Romans 2:4

God really is faithful: My relationship with my wife has been completely restored, even better than before. I’ve been freed from all pornography, lust, alcohol, lying, foul language, and a whole host of other sins, and now God is continually doing amazing things in my life. But more about that in my next post,

May God’s goodness and grace inspire and carry you.

Until next time.
Tian